You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
