wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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