i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
