Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
