I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
