if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
