P.S. I can't hear my feet
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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