She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
