Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my being single is dangerous.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
