so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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