RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
