what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm both gender and math confused
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
