Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
