He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
