You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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