OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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