Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
