It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
