Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
