I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize