absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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