margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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