i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
