He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
