i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
