i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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