Yo dont text me then not text me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
