i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
