I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
