He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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