I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
