shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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