dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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