Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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