Pappa wants mamma naked
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
