a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
