she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
