"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
