How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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