She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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