just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize