HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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