Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I party with great urgency now.
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