i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
