my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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