They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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