Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize