Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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