In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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