I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
