Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
