i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Panties = found
Randomize
