Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
