she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize