tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think i have herpe
just one?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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