I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
