There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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