did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
